"At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance..... We end today a period of ill fortune, and India discovers herself again."
- Tryst With Destiny
Jawaharlal Nehru
Have you ever felt that you were a set of keywords.... under what index would you be stored in a search engine? What are the tags that you carry, that cut down the sample space under which you may be placed? Ever thought of what you may profiled as, when a person comes up to you with a sheet of paper he calls a 'survey'? Under what category are you listed at the call center?
The need to belong. The need to acquire an identity. The need to preserve it. The need to defend it. From the awarding of gallantry awards to bursting crackers when Sohail's off stump is uprooted. The scale varies, the feeling is the same. helL is not too different.
I for one have always felt the need to 'Get Indexed'(I hope thats not copyrighted). Mum did not hesitate while making her final project presentation at IIT-Madras cause she wanted me to live with the brand right before I was born. The need was compounded after my class 12 debacle when only the infamous 'backdoor entry' could get me into a half-decent college. I must add here, that I know not where I would be if not for some amazing support(monetary in this case) from dad. The college I was getting into, with my rank in the engineering entrance was set in a pristine environment, lush greenery everywhere and a roof that allowed peeks at the sun. You can't get much with a rank of 22347 in your state can ya?
I guess this is the main reason, I gave my heart and soul to get into helL after my CAT results. I guess the entire rush behind the Council and PCOM was also to acquire more tags, but at some point........ you pause to wonder if its all worth it and thats when you draw the line. StEX looks like a happy tradeoff and is well worth being my first choice.
I had started this post when there were still 86400 ticks to independance day. Am off to celebrate with my StEX teammates(amazing bunch bless them). I don't think Nehru would have meant waking up to independance day with a hangover or in my case an upset stomach as the perfect way of starting another year, but hey I am trying hard to discover my own meaning of freedom..... Am even starting to get glimpses of it.
Monday, August 13, 2007
As you like it.....
You've got to give it to the bard. I don't know about the world being a stage but it is evident when you try, you can make it one. There is a mental tussle that is perennially on when an equally weighted binary choice needs to be taken. Whenever I was taken to a toy store as a child, I was given a fixed budget and asked to take anything. The amount was restricted, the choice was not. Any combination of toys I would buy, could never exhaust my budget to the last paisa. But then, I had to spend the entire amount.......I just had to. I remember buying things I would never use...things like erasers, gum, toothpicks, paperclips, tooth powder..... anything, but I just had to use the whole thing up. I never could give it away.
People say I have changed. I don't pull pigtails anymore but the girls still think I am a jerk. I don't steal my dad's car anymore but I haven't seen him either. I don't stuff my mouth with food any longer but food has just stopped tasting the same. I don't come home late anymore, but then..... I am not even at home.
A couple of hundred thousand people take 'The Mother of all exams' each year to suffix three letters to their name. I have no idea why I wrote CAT, I never wanted to study further. I had a job that was a ten minute walk from home. An upcoming firm of my own which made me 60k in three weeks. Why then did I make this choice..... I made it, to get the power to choose. Beggars can't be choosers.
I am now officially a part of STEX, the Student Exchange Cell of helL. We help facilitate sinners to temporarily escape our confines and entice gullible souls to be charred by our flames. The profile is not glamorous and it doesn't make much sense to the payoff matrix, but I have friends here. Makes a helL lot of difference to the whole equation. I read in some case out here about how people leave managers and not companies... how true. Not many people agree with my choice, some may even call me a fool behind my back. I might sound contradictory if you have been following my thought flow until now, but I made my choice.... My first step towards getting my affairs back in order.
It is a luxury, nothing less to be able to come home. By home, I mean a house that contains people who love you..... people you love. helL's 185 acres house the best in India. It has an in-house fully air conditioned discotheque!!!. Hostel buildings, each of which would rival any other campus. A state of the art library and computer lab. Wide open spaces that are meant to stimulate the mind. The sound of silence that one hears on a jog at two in the night is unearthly. Wolves run around in the more exotic areas of the campus. I almost stepped on a python the other day... I have made some amazing friends. The conversations are witty. People are mostly sweet. I am ready for the second half of the term.................I wanna go home.
People say I have changed. I don't pull pigtails anymore but the girls still think I am a jerk. I don't steal my dad's car anymore but I haven't seen him either. I don't stuff my mouth with food any longer but food has just stopped tasting the same. I don't come home late anymore, but then..... I am not even at home.
A couple of hundred thousand people take 'The Mother of all exams' each year to suffix three letters to their name. I have no idea why I wrote CAT, I never wanted to study further. I had a job that was a ten minute walk from home. An upcoming firm of my own which made me 60k in three weeks. Why then did I make this choice..... I made it, to get the power to choose. Beggars can't be choosers.
I am now officially a part of STEX, the Student Exchange Cell of helL. We help facilitate sinners to temporarily escape our confines and entice gullible souls to be charred by our flames. The profile is not glamorous and it doesn't make much sense to the payoff matrix, but I have friends here. Makes a helL lot of difference to the whole equation. I read in some case out here about how people leave managers and not companies... how true. Not many people agree with my choice, some may even call me a fool behind my back. I might sound contradictory if you have been following my thought flow until now, but I made my choice.... My first step towards getting my affairs back in order.
It is a luxury, nothing less to be able to come home. By home, I mean a house that contains people who love you..... people you love. helL's 185 acres house the best in India. It has an in-house fully air conditioned discotheque!!!. Hostel buildings, each of which would rival any other campus. A state of the art library and computer lab. Wide open spaces that are meant to stimulate the mind. The sound of silence that one hears on a jog at two in the night is unearthly. Wolves run around in the more exotic areas of the campus. I almost stepped on a python the other day... I have made some amazing friends. The conversations are witty. People are mostly sweet. I am ready for the second half of the term.................I wanna go home.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Breaking point
The great sages have often advocated that the answer to the question "Who Am I?" is one if discovered, gets you in touch with the eternal truth. It would be so simple if one can clearly define his limitations and work within them. Limitations differ from one being to another. A tiger marks his limitation by urinating on the trees that define his boundary, a new born infant lets out a scream, water starts to boil and even the wind flows around the cliffs.
In Economics, we learn about the budget line which defines how much a consumer can purchase given his constraints. The indifference curves talk about the various combinations of goods that can give the same satisfaction to a consumer. If only life were as simple as that..... If only we knew the speed limits.... the list goes on.
The unrelenting torrent of exams finally ended yesterday by noon. I have mixed emotions about my performance. I managed to do great at Math, my perennial bug bear but did very poorly at Accounts and Economics. The rest were all like local bands who play before and after the big boys show up. They never really merit much attention.
The hiatus gave us a chance to make a trip to the city. Couples have started to form already. Due to the lack of the fairer sex, if a single girl is present in a group, all members may consider themselves to be fractions in the 'couple'. After all, the first thing you see on entering the campus are statues depicting scenes from the 'Mahabharata'. Unfortunately, yours truly had to go with Mr.Basu (I truly recognise my limitations here).
McDonalds makes really good burgers. Its a wonder they come without a warning for health. I am sure people make more number of resolutions sitting at McDonalds than at New Years. Shopping for underwear, formal shirts and soap followed. The man at the counter gave me the weirdest of looks when I handed him 10 cakes of pears green, Is it a crime for a guy to buy the soap of his choice? Why is it not weird when a girl says "Oh! but the cut is 0.001mm too wide, lets go honey"...... My debit card finally managed to shut him up. We also saw the movie "Gandhi - My father" and had dinner at a fancy chinese place. The poignant scenes of freedom fighters made the struggle at helL seem reasonable. Finally found some scenes I could relate to. I hope I can devote a lot more time to Praveen Jr(no that won't be his name). A thought from rediff.com comes to my mind "On your deathbed, you never think of how much more time you must have spent at office".
However big a fool one might be within the confines of helL, he turns into the most eligible bachelor once he crosses cerberus. One gets to experience the feelings of a well endowed female as she walks into a room. I am buying every T-shirt there is on sale from now.
As we re-entered the gates of helL, the fun-ended and the grind began. I missed the insti party that is held every fortnight(unlimited booze, limited girls) and sat coding for the STEX task. Once the sun came up on a lazy summer morning, I decieded to treat myself to a luxury. I slept for six hours.
Today is the only buffer day we have between the end of our mid-term exams and the onset of the post-mid term session. The day of Sabbath, of fun, rest and frolic. Did I bite off more than I could chew in the pre-mid term session?? Its too late to think about that. Am just going to keep trying to discover that point where I will break. I just hope I will never discover it.... But a sweet little birdie who was crying to me last night told me its not too far.
We did not bag the 'ghadi' project(came third). Its time to gear up for the last week of my PCOM task and the beginning of another challenge. Whatever happens, I am going to start jogging from today. No matter what. PCOM meet begins in 10 min. My teammates are nowhere to be seen.......
In Economics, we learn about the budget line which defines how much a consumer can purchase given his constraints. The indifference curves talk about the various combinations of goods that can give the same satisfaction to a consumer. If only life were as simple as that..... If only we knew the speed limits.... the list goes on.
The unrelenting torrent of exams finally ended yesterday by noon. I have mixed emotions about my performance. I managed to do great at Math, my perennial bug bear but did very poorly at Accounts and Economics. The rest were all like local bands who play before and after the big boys show up. They never really merit much attention.
The hiatus gave us a chance to make a trip to the city. Couples have started to form already. Due to the lack of the fairer sex, if a single girl is present in a group, all members may consider themselves to be fractions in the 'couple'. After all, the first thing you see on entering the campus are statues depicting scenes from the 'Mahabharata'. Unfortunately, yours truly had to go with Mr.Basu (I truly recognise my limitations here).
McDonalds makes really good burgers. Its a wonder they come without a warning for health. I am sure people make more number of resolutions sitting at McDonalds than at New Years. Shopping for underwear, formal shirts and soap followed. The man at the counter gave me the weirdest of looks when I handed him 10 cakes of pears green, Is it a crime for a guy to buy the soap of his choice? Why is it not weird when a girl says "Oh! but the cut is 0.001mm too wide, lets go honey"...... My debit card finally managed to shut him up. We also saw the movie "Gandhi - My father" and had dinner at a fancy chinese place. The poignant scenes of freedom fighters made the struggle at helL seem reasonable. Finally found some scenes I could relate to. I hope I can devote a lot more time to Praveen Jr(no that won't be his name). A thought from rediff.com comes to my mind "On your deathbed, you never think of how much more time you must have spent at office".
However big a fool one might be within the confines of helL, he turns into the most eligible bachelor once he crosses cerberus. One gets to experience the feelings of a well endowed female as she walks into a room. I am buying every T-shirt there is on sale from now.
As we re-entered the gates of helL, the fun-ended and the grind began. I missed the insti party that is held every fortnight(unlimited booze, limited girls) and sat coding for the STEX task. Once the sun came up on a lazy summer morning, I decieded to treat myself to a luxury. I slept for six hours.
Today is the only buffer day we have between the end of our mid-term exams and the onset of the post-mid term session. The day of Sabbath, of fun, rest and frolic. Did I bite off more than I could chew in the pre-mid term session?? Its too late to think about that. Am just going to keep trying to discover that point where I will break. I just hope I will never discover it.... But a sweet little birdie who was crying to me last night told me its not too far.
We did not bag the 'ghadi' project(came third). Its time to gear up for the last week of my PCOM task and the beginning of another challenge. Whatever happens, I am going to start jogging from today. No matter what. PCOM meet begins in 10 min. My teammates are nowhere to be seen.......
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