A New World Order

A month ago, a few thousand spent casings fell in the space of 72 hours of nightmare. They took with them almost a couple of hundred lives. Media companies made a killing during the 'live broadcast' and security companies thereafter. The Sensex made its traditional bull rally for a short while after the attack, and then became rational by plunging into the red. Politicians bickered, brought about daring new impractical proposals, flashed teeth to the media and some even made conspiracy theories. The more common Indians did what we do best; take out a rally, burn candles, write bellicose columns and curse the politicians.

We make a very big deal out of security lapses, and inaction by politicians. Some of us are naive enough to suggest a complete nuclear annahilation saying we lose only a few cities but the whole of Pakistan may be wiped out. There is only one thing more dangerous than a politician.... a person who debates it from the confines of his home. Politics is dirty, at any level. If a democracy is perfect on all accounts, no work would ever get done. A dictatorship the other extreme... sounds perfect, but the imperfection arises in the fact that it is a human, who governs other humans.

Most people who were killed are those who could afford a dinner or a room that costs a few thousands per unit... the Indian elite. Would there have been the same hue and cry if the terrorist had killed 179 or even 500 in Dharawi or some remote village in Tripura? The same kind of TRP ratings would not have been achieved even during the Kargil conflict. The last time India tried to act aggressive was when the terrorists attacked the Indian MPs but could gun down only a few (useless???) cops.

It spurs the question, is the life of a rich human being far more important than that of a poor one. You are kidding if you believe in the contrary. It is in line with the laws of capitalism, which is in turn, modelled on human aspirations. A rich man should ideally be a specimen with superior intellect or physical prowess.. one who gets to enjoy the rewards of wealth due to his inherent value to the species on the whole. We do not live too far from this picture. Wealth now is in the hands of politicians, sportsmen, movie starts and businessmen. These individuals have in their own way enriched the race on the whole. The imperfection arises when wealth is inherited. A rich man's son does not deserve to be rich as he may not have with him the capabilities to effectively utilise the capital. The solution cannot be the transfer of inheritance to the state as it is the most inefficient consumer of capital. The solution therefore is to have gentlemen like one Mr. Gates on whose browser I am typing this. Leave enough for your children for them to stay comfortable. The rest may be administered through a setup that has the capabilities to effectively utilise the power.

Are we looking at a 'New World Order' where the balance of power is slated to shift? My guess would be Yes. Oil is not going to stay at $40 for too long. The dollar is no longer as 'good as gold'. Israel may well be the source of the next holocaust, and men in beards with 72 virgins on their mind are being manufactured by the hundreds. A Bretton-Woods conference can only be ratified after a World War.. not before. The evidence points to a shift in power in the long term.

But as one gentleman put it.... "In the long term, we are all dead".

Fly in the soup

In any system it is the anomaly that gets noticed. It is the tilted line that turns a balanced equation into chaos. The relevance of this proposition is strengthened with every 'first puff' of nicotine loaded bullets cutting oxygen supply to the brain.. the momentary escapism from materialism... the pull of multiple G-forces dragging you back into reason.. Wow...

But it is always the anomaly that is always looked down upon with a mix of fascination and fear. It is the black sheep, the entity that does not belong in the perfectly oiled machine of order. The levers resisting change will do everything in their power to stop the gears from rolling over. The so called protectors of order or the facilitators of harmony are actually the ones most scared of the next state of temporary equilibrium. Certain behavior is termed risky but it is in fact the safest thing in the entire system of liquidity, where equilibrium can only be attained with it not existing in the first place.

It frankly burns the last embers of wisdom to notice the meek surrender of one of the biggest stockpiles of knowledge to the whims of a fool. But that is how systems exist. That is why it is called a system. That is why I hate it. That is why I excel at it.

Ladies and Ladies

"...Unless you are a born connoisseur of art, you will not be able to judge by yourself why certain art is superior to other art..."

- David Elliot

They cannot be ignored. No chance. Not if you are blind or deaf. You can hate em for their set of idiosyncrasies or a self supposed 'new outlook on life', but after a while deep down; gay or otherwise one has got to accept the fact that they are absolutely fascinating.

I love casual dressing. By casual dressing, I do not mean t-shirts & shorts... I mean really casual. Seriously now, why is it a crime to be seen around in my underwear in the men's hostel???

I was on one such expeditions to the loo, and all ready to open the tap to relief when my 'Seventh Sense' made me look up... and notice six specimens of the opposite sex staring at me in disbelief. Now, why a 'lady' who needs to go to the loo in the men's bathroom could be justified as an uncontrollable urge; but why she needs six bodyguards is beyond any means of comprehension. I honestly felt 'violated'. I pretended like nothing happened, stepped into the shower... and drowned myself.

Awesomeness of the week is the fact that one Mr. Snehanshu Mukherjee has decided to add Rs. 18,000/- per month to my coffers. A part of which, will be consumed by the supply chain in the form of my darling; who has decided to move to Delhi for me. Truly appreciate the gesture. Looking forward to lots of freeloading, and trips post the mid terms which sulk a week away.

:)

Same time... Some day

A really cheap thing to be writing about. I admit.
Something awesome happened to me four years back on this day. It was not a life changing moment, not one that will go down as one which was totally unexpected, but is something I truly cherish 4 years down the line.

Accendere is now a legal entity. Its first project is exactly a week from now.

Am I Excited: Little bit
Am I Nervous: Lots
Am I Happy: Hehe (but nostalgia is the main reason)

No opportunity to recreate the magic of Sep 20th today.... thats sad... or is it?

Rock on with the bears!!!

I am writing this at a time when the financial markets are facing a bloodbath. The newspapers are blaring headlines which predict a vanishing act by the plum pay packages. The inmates in helL and similar residences are starting to get jittery, suddenly 'investment banking' doesn't sound so lucrative. Why would you want to recruit fresh faced graduates when there are 26000 Lehmann CVs floating in the market?

Now Goldilocks is faced with a very adverse set of bears who do not want to share their porridge. The time has come for her to start enjoying the golden colored froth of diversification. The interest in candlestick plots is waning, and energies are being diverted towards the silver screen.

I just love the media who call Lehmann's fall a tale of 'greed, arrogance, indiscretion and bad luck'. The same journalists were publishing editorials on how India would sustain a growth rate of 9%, and that oil was all set to hit $250. Is it really wrong to be greedy? Is it not basic human nature, the basic ethos of capitalism?

It is amazing how greed is bemoaned both in mythology, and contemporary literature. The greedy man always loses. What exactly is ambition then? Is that not a manifestation of greed on some level?

The bears have not spared my little germinating pod either, air fares are hitting the sky and PhDs are trying to be managers. I can hear voices of protest from my partners, but it is not directed at them.

Hoping to breakeven, and not breakdown.......

Ripples in the sand...

There is something that is distorting my mental fabric. What it is, I am unable to point out. There is absolutely no reason for me to feel disappointed or sad or even perplexed. It is one in the morning, I woke up a whole 19 hours back. There is not a cell in my body that is feeling drowsy. There is a state where the adrenalin has almost worn off but not quite, I feel like that 24 hours a day. The worst part is I cannot understand what spikes the high, nothing significant happened today. My whole life I have slept like a log, eight hours a day was minimum even during the helLish days. Insomnia is not normal, not to me.... it is a state I could never imagine myself in. Am a little scared, I must admit.

I wrote exams for six hours today. I truly feel like the learning curve is also bell shaped. I reached the peak of it at the end of term 3. All that needs to be learnt now is out there, it may sound pompous but helL has nothing more to offer me academically. There are however a few things I would like back. They are too far gone, am afraid.

Uncertainity has a little bit of magic about it. The feel of the chase is truly awesome.Yes, this is one of my biggest steps yet. I want my Z4, and I want it fast.

The only thing that keeps me in my senses are occasional chats with MY 'insane dose of sanity'. Honestly, I would trade the Z4 and the chase for you. What use is a two seater if the seat beside me is empty?

Three days to go. Yes, I still countdown.

Some nice stuff..

Some simply awesome stuff I have heard in the past few days:

"Every time I open my cupboard.... I am happy"

-Sanju

I guess it is just something you say in the middle of a random conversation.

No she was not referring to the loads of clothes/shoes/ear-rings/anklets/hair bands/lotions/whatever else girls own. She was referring to the simple slabs of wood she helped mould into a container for the little things that bring her so much joy. It set me thinking for a long time about the differences that are such a part of our make up.

"Praveen darling.!!
u r an amazing friend, classmate, entrepreneur and even almost decent looking.
but designing.. little more inspiration praveen..
rmbr our cards.. and the posters.. look at this with a neutral eye..
machan.. that A doesnt look great.. the flames are not eye catching..
and in this version the halo is barely visible..
dude.. its our logo man..

hmm.. :) but i shld say job well done.. "

-Shiva

My feedback after slogging for 12 hours on a software I would not touch with a ten foot pole. The best way I have been told......'YOU SUCK'. Shiva, that was one awesome mail :)

To save money on our venture, I decided to try my hand at photoshop. The software used by the 'creative' ones. A fifteen minute crash course on the internet got me started. I wanted to be 'The designer'; after all, how tough could it be?

"Dai it looks like an 'A' film logo da!!!"

-Ragavan

I QUIT.

The last few days have been pretty crazy. Lets just say I am stepping into my own now.

How and Why I became a writer...

I like the way the term ‘Carbon Footprint’ has been coined. It strikes a chord when you hear it. I am always reminded of my foot’s impression in soot, and therefore turn the lights off.

An entire vertical is dedicated to the quantification of recognition. Common man’s parlance calls it ‘marketing’. It is the process of fusing nerves in the brain into spotting, and ingesting their produce. Sans recognition, marketing faces the catastrophe of commoditization.

Society is a collection of individuals, and the amalgamation is brought about by the mechanism which recognizes; and justly rewards the potential of each. To grow as a species therefore, special recognition needs to be awarded to those who make the hard choices. I believe Copernicus, and Galileo spurned the church as they sub consciously believed that their work would be ‘recognised’ someday. A trip to any historical monument would show inscriptions of names, and relationships.

Social security numbers, surnames, degrees, schools are all tags used to uniquely identify the utility of an individual. It is indeed fascinating to map the weights given to each by the agencies of perception. The human form is therefore decomposed into a small blue book of 32 pages that facilitates transportation. The Iron Cross, a 63 mm object of iron with traces of gold inspires young men to the inhuman trenches by materializing recognition. Human need for recognition thus extends beyond the grave.

I am human.

Quite a flutter

There is no real occasion for writing this post other than the fact that I woke up this morning feeling quite special. Just felt like calling dad up, and telling him how much I appreciate the freedom he gives me.

I was reminded of an occasion six years ago when Sachin creamed Wasim, Waqar and Shoaib to all corners of the park in the 2003 world cup. Six of my buddies and me followed every ball on the idiot box. It was entertainment at its best, excellent food..... nice drinks to accompany and the best company on the planet..... foul mouthed, nationalistic, cricket crazy men. My closest buddies since school.

After Rahul sealed the win with a pull to the boundary, the six of us took off to celebrate in the way Hyderabad knows best... bikes and cars full of happy hooligans under the night sky; all praise for our heroes, and curses for the entire breed of our peers across the border. That was the time when Sourav had changed the face of Indian aggression with his 'topless act' at lords. Necklace road was jammed that night, nobody minded. Eleven kilometres of road in the heart of the city packed to the rafters. Nobody was in a hurry to get home.

There we were without a care in the world hugging random people, discussing the finer points like experts of the game. I returned home at 2 in the night, there was my dad who was as thrilled as me. We spoke for a while and then slept.

The next morning, I gave my Mathematics board exam for class 12.

Closure

I have a very high need for closure. I hate being in limbo. The world to me is much better when it is Black or White, grey does not make sense. I love being immersed in work or deep in slumber, lingering feels like a cardinal waste. I am not for a moment suggesting that I do not enjoy the chase. It is the most excitable part of the hunt. I just dont enjoy the ever lasting wait. The art of waiting is just lost on me, probably the cocktail of elements in a being that turn him into a connoisseur were juxtaposed in such a contorted fashion that they all ended up in my stomach and below.

An individual’s desire for a quick answer as opposed to enduring ambiguity sometimes leads to irrational, and even erratic behavior. The need for instant gratification of information to facilitate decision making, which in turn caters to the feel of control. This coupled with the absolute sense of mastery is what endears the machine with silicon in its head to me.

I believe the worst experience ever is a state where there is no hope, when there is nothing to look forward to and everything to look back at. The state of being a vegetable, and the only thing you have is time... the most cruel enemy of them all. People are against the death sentence.... I am against the process of execution. Time does not run out for a convict on the death row, it would stretch like a rubber band. A mercenary in that sense is far more humane than the judicial system at large.

Closure to some is happening as we speak. How it can happen to another with a few grams of yellow metal on a string is hard to grasp. Another twelve hours and the chapter shall be closed. This is the part where we use Aesop's inputs and cry "Sour Grapes". Just bear with it; will ya?

If only....

Its quite a while now since I lost the elections at IIML. Boss contacted me the other day, and willed me into writing a speech. The speech was to be delivered by the president of the Indian School of Business on winning the elections.

Those 300 words were the ones, I would have delivered had I won.

Start:

Hello friends. It gives me great pleasure in standing in front of such an elite lot, and claiming that I have the trust of a majority. Unlike my previous speeches, this one is not about making promises or telling you why I am ‘The Smartest’ chap on Earth. My speech will not be longer than Ganguly’s stay on the cricket pitch. Let me have your attention for the next couple of minutes.

We did have some awesome fun in the past few days. This election had all the makings of a thriller. Both me and my esteemed rival had our set of minions. I wish to first extend my deepest appreciation to all those who were in the opposition camp. You guys sure had us on the edge. The time has now come to join hands, and take the baton forward.

As the president of this prestigious institution, it is my foremost duty to ensure that the will of its residents are carried out. I have already been handed a list of demands which need to be satisfied by the end of the term; add to the innumerable promises I have made, and we have a list that is longer than what Santa Claus receives every year. But ‘Father Christmas’ does not disappoint; does he?

The student council is a composition of the batch’s representatives but unlike our government counterparts, we neither have the luxury of ‘surplus funds’ or time. The promises I have made this time are different, in the fact that none of them have been done before. Not because there wasn’t a president like me but because there wasn’t a batch like YOU.

Uh, Oh! The Umpire has just lifted his finger. Thats about it guys. Do come for the party tonight!

Damn, If only I had won....

Whats in a name?

It has now been one year since I indulged in some soul-searching, and entered the forays of one of the 'then' least respected cults on campus 'STEX'. The band of 8 who are responsible for helL's external academic linkages. I entered cause I felt the quality of life on offer here would be tailormade. By quality of life, I do not mean endless rivers of potent liquids or members of the 'endangered species' on campus. I loved the culture that pervaded, the people in it and the freedom it gave me.

Throughout my life, I have loved working in teams which have open minds. Open minds do not mean being perverted as is the case attributed to some initiatives. The ability to absorb radical change is what I am talking about. Our USP is not 'hard work' as is the case of many other cults here. Our USP is 'Fun'. We will never win if we compete on the 'work' platform. We DO NOT want people who would slog 12 hours a day. We WANT people who love discussing nonsense on the rooftop at 2 in the night.

STEX does not have labour. STEX has fun. You must know how to have fun, and make money. The money supply from the council remains the same while the initiatives have gone up. We detest people (girls mostly) who come up to us and say "What dirty designs you have put up..... I cannot be seen around wearing such a 'bold' shirt". You HAVE TO BE a Prerna or a Anuttera to be in STEX.

There is a sense of pride associated with initiating change and being a part of it. All four of us are now completely in love with the brand and its new identity. I was admonished last year for sending informal batch mails. We have now taken the 't' into superscript mode.

We are unique, we are cool... we are STEX.

A sustainable competitive advantage. We now recognise the collateral we possess in the form of an exchange program. The process shall now be highly streamlined, and professional.

Lots of people in the batch now secretly wish they were a part of STEX. Animal told me about his desire yesterday.

The broken nib

I belong to a country where education is treated on par with the supreme being. The procurement of knowledge being the path towards the ultimate truth. The reason why I cannot stamp on a piece of parchment without a reflex action inducing my hand touching my eyes apologising for my act.

My parents are both from IIT Madras. They have consistently been toppers of their batch, and naturally thought the genes would pass on to the next generation. It was sad to see dad waiting to see if my brother would clear his boards(he managed a 81%, congrats to him). They belong to the school in which if you work hard, really really hard in your youth.... the results will be there for all to see. The very reason why they cringe, if I tell them that a lucrative contract with SRM, and I would quit my second year at IIM Lucknow. Aah if there were only an altar for the spirit of entrepreneurship...

'Dreams' or whatever we choose to call it will be a legal entity soon. My brainchild. I have no idea if it will buy me the TWO seater Black BMW which I have fallen in love with, but I am sure to get my monday morning thrills.

I am today a completely different person from the apprehensive, and admittingly insolent 20 year old who stepped into the 45 degree heat a little over a year ago.

I have done enough work to merit a PPO at IBM. I started this sentence with "I have done". I does not mean Dad. It never has been. I really would appreciate it, if it stays that way.

The past three weeks have been the most forgettable ones in my life. I broke the nib on something I would have guarded with my life. Yes, my dear I cannot get the 'Sweet Darling' sitting next to you scene out of my mind. Assassins are always given a reason to pull the trigger. We just had to make up ours. Maybe I cannot say this to the face, but some scarring is permanent.

To the great one who missed her train to Madurai....

Jai baba ramdev..

I friend of mine once told me that rubbing your nails against each other would get rid of premature greying. Both he and I started to exhibit the signs of wisdom at a very early age. Just another one of those beautiful traits passed onto me by my parents. I remember reading an interview where women expressed a lot of interest in Harrison Ford's salt and pepper coiffure, where are you ladies?

Now there is another thing is an integral part of our household, the projection around the midriff that ensures that we mimic the ring around the cheerleaders as a permanent fixture. It has always been fascinating to notice the change in the centre of gravity in my family after they finish a meal, from bolt upright to going parallel to the ground and contributing to the mass in the midriff.

Now yours truly is not kidding himself. He does not believe he is as bad looking as Mr.Ford but he did try his hand at burning the fuel around his sides. The setting was amazing, air conditioned gymnasium (courtesy my first stipend), electronic equipment, a personal trainer who would put Hulk Hogan to shame and pretty looking colleagues from the surrounding buildings. The first few days were great. Atlas would have been impressed with my abilities to lift iron and the cardio machines witnessed the 'flying hyderabadi'. The man who prides himself on eating 2 plates of hyderabadi biryani suddenly refused his manna one day...... such commitment and dedication.

It was too good to last.

A back exercise involved picking a bar that supported 20kg weight so high that I actually needed to smell the iron. Some muscles in the back refused to see the point of the whole ordeal and indulged in collective bargaining... It is not amusing when you cannot look at junior when liquid is expelled. Two injections, around 2000mg of painkillers and 3 days of rest later I was back in business.

Its now 8 days since I lifted anything heavier than my laptop or moved faster than a stationary truck.

It seems there are only aunties in the coming batch.

Suits me just fine :)

What if...

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

- An inspiration in his moments of despair.

Makes a lot of sense doesn't it...

The post relates to the human hope of possessing a button with two arrows to the left. The means of turning back time...., if only it were as easy as letting the sand flow on its head in the hourglass. If time were the fourth dimension in spatial integrity then most of us would gladly trade one of our three. Maybe that is the beauty in it. The knowledge of the unknown, the unchangeable and the myopia associated with it. Would you rather know your future? Know when and to whom you are destined to spend the rest of your life... Know the exact route of your career... Know the day you would be completely bald... Know the exact second when the last burst of oxygen would exfoliate your brain...I wouldn't.

I do not believe in destiny. I truly believe that the levers of change rest firmly in my hands, a high internal locus of control. I also do preach about the philosophy occasionally. All I know is that a decade down the line, I would never regret thinking 'what if I had tried..'. A bruised ego and possible humiliation are temporary aberrations but sound investments.

Why would you go and participate in a function whose occurrence strikes at the very foundation of your existence. Or is it just pretence??

I cannot be in your place boss. But, believe me I have been close to it.

Its never too late is it?

What say boss?

Evolution

I hate travelling.

Flights therefore give me the perfect reason to devote some time towards caressing the keyboard with my thoughts. For the second time in 21 years, I am going on a holiday with my family... the andamans beckon. My grandparents had a party for their 50th anniversary last night. Caught up on distant branches of the tree I never knew existed. Who knows 56 years down the line.....

I started my internship a week back. I seemed to be blessed not only with a dream guide but also some wonderful company from the IBMers. The amount of energy I have devoted to ping pong has me wondering if I can just make it to Beijing on time. I met an intern from a sister IIM - whose suffix falls two jots after mine, the next two months he is destined to suffer me. It is indeed amazing how a couple of guys become friends. Let me run you through the process...

1) Guy meets guy............assesses cheapness and compatibility. Compatibility is assessed with choices in movies, sports and other politically correct topics(I wouldn’t be caught dead with a chap who likes musicals). If compatible, then proceed. If not crib to your friends what an ass he is.

2) Now that he is compatible, go out of your way to show him you are cool. This involves complex arguments with subtle indications of your intellectual and sporting prowess....no talks on girls yet. You never know if he is one of those types.

3) You offer to pay when you go out and don’t really keep count of the cash. A broad idea is always there on the back of your mind though.

4) As you grow more and more comfortable with each other, sarcastic or passing remarks centre around our favourite topic...the unfortunate breed with progesterone. We are almost there.

5) You meet a girl whom you know is absolutely ‘super’. We have now breached the barriers of telepathic conversation.

6) The final stage of evolution.... discussion of shady movies and our knowledge in the field. Aah another member gains admission into the halls of cheapness.

I remember telling the chaps back at IIML that my internship is going to be the best there is. I believe contrary to the feel of this post that I will pull off a beauty. I don’t have the habit of dedicating stuff. Wanna try something different.

- To the three interns: Arun, Amit and Viditha who chose Hyderabad, and ensured that I don’t ‘slog’ alone, and of course to the eight blue stripes :)

P.S:- One week late thanks to the amazing connectivity at the islands...

Static...more static

One of my favourite sounds in the world is that of an electronic device crackling softly in the background. It sounds like a desperate human being who is trying his best to get something out of his larynx, but the sound will just not come out. As a baby, my mum used to keep me amused by pulling the cable off the tv....suddenly the whole screen would turn into a myriad of spots; black and white. It was my idea of wonderland. That was 21 years back.

I still love the sound of static(I prefer the amplitude to be much lower). It is bliss to hear the overhead microphone scratch itself as the captain prepares to announce the landing in Hyderabad. I am home and am going to stay here for another 2 and a half months. It is indeed amazing how even helL can sound rosy when you’re doing well at it....I had an absolute blast in the third term, the questionnaire for smile gave me ‘job satisfaction’.

Have my dream profile:- SAP CRM; dream company:- IBM and most importantly.............AM HOME BABY!!

Twisted minds....Twistier thinking

Ever been to a party and looked at this really slutty looking chick. Low cut blouse, a slit in her skirt running up, her arm around a couple of guys at all times and knocking back a couple of drinks every few minutes. If you thought one of these guys is actually going out with her, chances are you are an amateur in this complex world where affairs are increasingly being given another word - friendship.

Now dont get me wrong, I am sure you already have. I dont mean to say that you cannot go out with a girl without having any feelings for her. You can... if you dont find that girl hot(how many really bad looking women out there?.....why would you go out with her in the first place :) or if there is a more compelling reason why you wont hit on her(your fucking best friend's girlfriend). Why else would any guy with an itch in his crotch desist from making a move?

I am born with two left feet and this leads to me seeking the company of more left feet at a party. What do you think men do when they have nothing to do and blends of ethyl alcohol in their hands. They bitch.... far worse than women. The detailing is amazing....part by part....in scales that even Prof.____ wouldn't have conceived and towards the end of the consensus, one detail is always common. No matter how much you wanted to go home with the slutty chick, you end up feeling sorry for the man she actually goes out with. He is probably banging some other 'friend' of his but what the heck; I am a man and I can surely give a fellow the benefit of the doubt.

Another extremity is making someone your 'sister'. WTF???. I have known situations where:-
1) Guy finds girl hot, wants to screw her.
2) Girl doesn't want guy to screw her but wouldn't mind hanging out with him. The tag 'friend' cannot be over abused here since everyone knows guy's itch. What does she do?
3) She makes him her 'brother'. How freaking ridiculous. This is exactly why I dont believe in rakshabandan.

I am not saying its wrong. I am not asking you not to do it. I am just saying....dont abuse the garb of friendship for it. Have the guts to admit to yourself what you are doing. Its no surprise that the new line for "wanna go to bed with me" has become.....you guessed it. "Want to have friendship"????

Why the sudden outpouring of emotion...this is what happens when Praveen wakes up at 5 in the morning with his head feeling like a ship's anchor.

I will sign off with a few dialogues. I vouch for their authenticity:-
Good:-
"I got so drunk yesterday that I have no idea what happened. I am sure my 'friend' took 'care' of me"

Better:-
"I think Delhi is an unsafe city for women. I mean women getting raped and all that.....I am going out today to a disc with my 'friends' will be back late in the night"

The Very Best:-
"Is it not okay if I sleep with two men at night. That way, neither would make a move on me!!".

If Eve was the only damn chick around. Who can blame Adam?

Diploma...TAMCOMM23...Fist...Stumped...SMILE

IIM Lucknow hosted its 22nd convocation today. A day when 250 young men and women(yes there were lots in the senior batch) donned sombre black coats, and tried to bow through their burgeoning bellies; to receive a paper for which they have gone through helL for the past 2(or sometimes 3) years. There was a sense of pride in the air with proud parents lining up the chairs and politely applauding each name that was called. All 250 have been picked up by top notch companies where these 'strategic assets' are going to make a big difference to the top line. What a load of crap!

There was a party hosted by TAMCOMM23. For the uninitiated, this may sound like a passkey to exotica but when expanded, it reads "Tamil committee (batch no) 23". The set of students whose mother tongue (in my case only mother) happens to be Tamil. I paid Rs.1000/- for 2 dosas and curd rice. It was delicious though. I had an option of choosing between the 'gult farewell' and the one by 'TAMCOMM23". I chose the later for there were bridges to be made and in some cases, rebuilt. I hate South Indian food!

IIML has now been in existence for 23 years. I am sure PCOM (Placement committee) has been maligned every year. 'HR king' who resides two rooms away made up his mind( he claims it was red wine ) to manhandle PCOM. He hits on Mrs.PCOM and then plants a very drunken fist on one PCOM member who was unfortunate enough to try and stop him. How he escaped being hit that day is still a wonder. 'HR king' then puked all over my room( missed the bucket I had placed for him though)!

I have been a decent batsman all my life. This is not a tall claim. I hit nadir a few days back though. I was stumped first ball.....a sad enough feat. What compounded the agony was that the one who delivered the ball is 'officially' categorised as a member of the female sex. We won the match though and the trophy thanks to some great bowling by our captain. The opposition team cried foul over my strategies. In my defence, I played by the book. We won!

The best is saved for the last. I spent a few good hours of my life writing a proposal to implement kiosks that offer digital services across India. SMILE interactive tech group was glad to accept it. Now me, bihar, fraud iBanker and 3 others are spending a good amount of time being MBAs and formulating strategies for its implementation.

Potatoes and Capsicum in the mess await. Cant bear it any longer.

P.S:- My elective list in the second year read Agri-Business, Finance and HR. Beat that.

Grandma...What big teeth you have

This post is dedicated to IIML....an institution that has been much maligned in my blog. The change in love can be attributed to a marked drop in confrontation with its inmates , and the surprisingly good marks it has bribed me with. Given the long gap, this post will consume a few more bytes than the usual. I also intend it to serve as a diary for all that I have done in the past two months. I want to relive the moments when I am fully grey.

In term III now. A few months back, when I was still a baby faced kid in this labyrinth; this was the paradise promised to us, the 72 virgins are missing though; forget 72...the rate at which it is going, I doubt if even a single one exists (am excluding the men here who are in dire need of a better sales pitch).

Am already two months old in paradise(we do age here, and are charged 2500 per month for the ‘manna’ in the mess). I have forgotten all about the days of long labour that I put in the first two semesters, and have indulged myself in the pleasures of gym, cricket and lawn tennis. I do not claim mastery over any of these but the very idea of pumping iron sounds kinda appealing. The midriff actually started showing indications of competing with that of Brad before my better half stepped in.

My better half???. Content censored due to the public nature of this medium of communication. Her older version has learnt to peek at this!!.

There is an animal that resides four skips and two doors away from where I get my forty winks. It is well known for playing music at a volume that is so high that the army could use it for testing its nuclear safe bunkers. It uses my toiletries for all its needs ,and often bangs my door at 3 in the night. It is also well admired for its ability to last in the ‘watering hole’, and its successes or rather the excesses with the fairer sex.

This creature sold me the idea of trading foreign currency; the conversion of your money from Gandhi to Lincoln to Queen Victoria and so on. The rules of the game are simple...extremely high risk and commensurate promises of riches. No finance(the subject) is required for this. No calculation of alphas or betas(I have always hated the greek). Its just a matter of economics, common sense and luck. Hey, I scored an A- in macroeconomics, and animal had topped the batch in the first semester; I do not wish to entertain any debate on the capabilities of common sense. How much of a factor could luck be?. It does turn into a potential whirlpool when you lose track of how to apply the first two factors; which is exactly what happens when a new factor steps in....GREED.

We have lost $125.1 each in the first three weeks of trading, and given our modest means; has earned us a ‘forced break’ from the system. The blue and red lights on the screen coupled with the candlestick worms have me hooked. We’ll be back.

The midterms had me try and complete my papers in half the time allotted(I am also scoring half the marks) , and rush back to ‘my activities’. I also took the liberty of inviting ‘joy’ to spend a week with me. And what a week it was!!.

The ‘eccentric king’ has been negotiated and with it, Little red riding hood can finally raise a glass(nah actually a bottle) to her first year in IIML(notice that its helL no more). The bad bad wolf has been pummelled into submission.

Its the seniors’ turn now to see green. The placement season arrives. PCOM wants to keep ‘The terrible threesome’ at a miles’ length, this suits me just fine. Probably a just reward for the night before MANAC II spent at the office of perceived power.

I am desperately hoping for my internship location to be Hyderabad. It is now 5 years since I have been home for a period longer than 20 days. Would love some quality time with my grandparents. Dads home too after a long stint in Bombay.

Yawn....time for my afternoon siesta.

I believe...

"...The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it... "

Ok now lets be clear, I scored a 7.00 GPA in my second term. My lowest grade until now has been B- (MANAC I). I have never come close to flunking out in any subject. Something I would have classified as impossible as I joined this place. I am starting to feel a part of the system. I guess I have always felt that CAT was a fluke, and I didn't deserve this place. I do not think so now. I am as good as anyone if not better. I believe I will not flunk out come helL or high water. I feel scared....

My most prized acheivement in life is 'Dreams', the training initiative I started in college. I was the Director(Software Engineering). Sounds pompous???..... I felt it. I felt utter despair every Sunday morning when there was no work to do. Each day of work was a thrill. Each hour a new challenge. I enjoy it most when people prophesies my failure. I loved it when they all bit dust. I am scared, I will end up as a business analyst.

It is not the money, you know. It is about power, the sense of an extremely high internal locus of control; the belief that you have the capacity to change. A heightened state of things. Yes, it also felt amazing when you know that 25% of any revenue that arrives is yours. I felt proud when I could take Sanju's family out for dinner. I could buy my own phone and pay the first instalment of the fees at helL. I am scared, I will get a great shorlist in the final placements.

I am scared of getting integrated with the system..... of exceling in it ...... of liking it. I am willing to risk it all. I want my breath of fresh air. I will never score a 7.00 again, not that it didn't feel good; just that it is a cardinal waste. I will do anything it takes. Even Economics.

How did you do it Neo?

My mid-terms begin in 38hrs. I have 8 subjects in 6 days. This is the territory of the 'eccentric king'. Am not really bothered.

I believe...

Transaction Analysis

Now here is some food for thought... I was debating last night with chick, on why people do things the way they do it. She wanted me to contribute towards the vaccination of some stray pups on campus. I refused.

My hypothesis is that people never do things unless they see something in it for them. I can define any human action with this, take a mother feeding her child for instance. I believe that she does it for two reasons:-
1) She would feel bad if she didn’t do it.
2) She derives a certain joy seeing her child eat.

If neither of these conditions were true, she just wouldn’t do it. The joy component is what we define as love, care, compassion whatever. Every human transaction can be defined in this way. I believe in the fallacy of man and base my actions on it.

The concepts of heaven and hell.....again my take on the topic is that men created the concept to create order, to avoid chaos and to implement justice. Now lets assume you are above the law (say like the kings in the olden days), what incentive was there to keep you in check? Guess what the wise men came up with......

I also created a model a couple of days back, on how men do everything in life to satisfy their carnal needs. With whom, How often, How long and in What setting they do it are the only variables one attempts to influence...

I am not too sure if I believe in god. Sure I pray to him before my MANAC exam but hate worship and religion. How can a book of rules(guidelines as some choose to see it) written a couple of millennia back be relevant?

I believe that the hypocrisy in me is inherited. My dad has this concept of offering a vadamala (A garland made out of vadas) to Lord Hanuman if some wish is satisfied. Does the Lord(no offence meant to him) offer dad a single peanut if his need is not met?. Bad transaction, but my dad believes it is good, cause he derives some moral strength out of it. He can offload his worries to the one above and always have someone to blame if it goes wrong. I guess this is the fees, he is paying to avail the service.

Now I am seen upon as being selfish. Let me set the record straight. I would never do transaction analysis when I am executing an action. It is just a belief. As any other human being, I do rely mostly on instinct and my doings are a result of the same. What I do believe in is ‘gratitude’. But then again....that is a fallacious concept given its origin.

Am I perverted, a resounding YES!!, but so are YOU.

Think about it....